Recently I’ve been in a sort of mind rut when it comes to writing. I realized about a week ago that I was once again avoiding my favourite pastime and career goal and instead focusing on other things. I the last few months I’ve gotten a new boyfriend, learned to play Magic the Gathering, which I am ridiculously obsessed with, and moved into a new place.
I’ve been gaming, gardening, going for walks, making home cooked delicious meals, and hosting movie nights. In general I seemed to be doing everything but writing. I attribute this to a few things…
I finished my edits on Maji Born. My immediate and depressing thoughts were focused on the fact that I didn’t feel like it lived up to the six years of writing and learning that I spent on it. The years I’ve poured into Panorila, getting to know my trio, world building, and rewriting over and over and over again. It felt like a waste of time and I came out feeling sad and disappointed. So I let it sit.
Okay this is really One and a half. I am scared to fail, to share my baby with the world and discover that in fact it is boring, badly written, and predictable. Nothing scares me more than failure and boy was I terrified. Instead of posting the edited manuscript on wattpad as I had originally planned I hesitated and left it to simmer on Dabble for a few weeks. I learned how to play Magic the Gathering and proceeded to pour all my free time and energy into building a Vraska Gorgon deck, a Fey deck, a treefolk deck, a centaur deck…. you get the point. Time was consumed writing was ignored.
When I realized this I was appalled at myself. I am a go getter. I don’t give up and I don’t hide from critique good or bad. I realized that though I was scared I needed to embrace my plan and release my baby to the world. After all I can always tweak it once I’ve posted it on Wattpad. That is one of the best parts of publishing Indie in the digital age. I decided to continue forward and began uploading chapters. As of tonight I have 28 of 38 chapters up on Wattpad. Tomorrow morning I am going to get at least four more online and then hopefully proceed to add the rest as the day goes on.
I also posted my Book Trailer, which is something I’ve been sitting on for quite some time! I’m very excited to have that online and live. I made it and am very proud of it no matter how simple it is.
Due to the nature of my job (I work at an Inbound call centre) I have quite a bit of time to read, write, and draw. I bet you can guess which two out of three I’ve been doing… I’ve started to writing again at work. In between calls I open up my email and plot my next book, send memos about characters, and start new stories.
I am feeling particularly inspired today, though it is now coming close to 12:30am. It makes me feel very happy to know that things are back on an upswing. When I realized that I was dragging my feet I had a moment of disappointment with myself and then I realized that it was just another part of the process and I realized that, fuck it, pardon my language, I should be celebrating! I just completed the third draft of edits on a 74,000 word novel! Just that is something to celebrate.
All this to say, Maji Born is live on Wattpad for your reading pleasure and I am happy that it’s there even if it does turn out to be just my passion project. I love Panorila, I love writing my trio, I’ve already planned books two and three, but I also have to move onto new things and publishing Maji Born is the first step of many toward my larger goal of becoming a full fledged paid author!
I’ll be keeping Maji Born free but if you’re so inclined and enjoy it please consider donating a couple of dollars my way via my Ko-Fi account! This broke author would love the support!